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A Father's Day Wish

6/19/2016

3 Comments

 
A heartfelt "Happy Father's Day" to all of the fathers out there!  Being a father has been one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs ever, and I cherish the job, no matter how crazy or incredibly fun it is, on a daily basis.

​​Yesterday, we got a bit of very sobering news, Paul, a former choir and church member, and a father of two, passed away last Wednesday after a battle with depression after committing suicide.
PictureShortly after Jonah was born and becoming a father for the first time.
A little over a decade ago, I, too, suffered from a (not as severe) form of depression, which also nearly cost me my marriage.  After many years of hard work and therapy working on myself, I emerged from the process a person who now had new skills to manage and cope with any future sadness that I would surely encounter.  And, literally one week after I finished up my work, my first child, Jonah, was born, and I became a father, the best day ever!

​I had one mission after going through all of that work, and that was to be vulnerable and tell my story to other men who may be struggling with anything on the emotional scale.  The toughest part of that period of time for me was the feeling of being alone in my struggle, and not feeling like any of my male friends understood what I was going through.

The number of men that commit suicide is staggering.  Many of us were brought up to be tough, strong, support the family, and "suck it up" when things get hard.  It can be incredibly tough sharing our emotions, even with our own spouses, let alone with other men.  I can tell you that by opening up to other men, I have had several guy friends approach me and tell me what's up with them in a way that most guys just don't normally do.

About 4 years ago, as my interest in cycling was heating up, I heard about the incredible story of Mark Meier and his bike ride across the country to raise awareness about depression in men through his non-profit, The FaceIt Foundation.  Soon thereafter, I became friends with both he and Bill Dehkes, who run the non-profit together, and have been a huge supporter of their organization and efforts ever since.  The work they do is real, and life-saving, and incredibly underserved everywhere.  If you want to read an incredible story this Father's Day, read Mark's story.

I now regret that I hadn't spent a few minutes to get to know Paul better.  Could I have prevented what happened?  Perhaps not.  But you never know what can happen by opening up and being vulnerable.  My Father's Day wish today is that all men will take a moment to ask another guy "how are you doing", and not just by punching them on the shoulder, but really asking how they're doing, and let them know you are truly interested in their well-being.

RIP, Paul, you will be missed more than you know.  Peace be with you all, today and always.  Matt
Picture
After completing the MS 150 bike ride last Sunday, with my biggest supporters. :)
3 Comments
B-Wes
6/19/2016 01:00:33 pm

Dude, thanks for the sobering yet awesome post!!! Can u warn a brotha next time please!!! I am so incredibly proud of you, your journey and the awesome father (and All things Apple products role model to me) you've become! You and I have had countless conversations both domestically and internationally during our audit days about your journey and I'm very happy you took a chance to trust me, thought enough of our friendship and shared!! Thank you Matt!!!!, as although you're my Apple crack dealer, you're truly My Friend and I appreciate that more than anything!!! Love ya Store-Dawg!!!!!

B~

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Storlie-Dawg
6/19/2016 02:27:21 pm

We have been through a lot, B$, and I'm so happy to trusted you early on in the process! You were one of and continue to be in my closest circle of trusted friends. You have two beautiful kiddos yourself, and are an amazing role model for them both! I'm proud to call you one of my very best friends. Matt (and sorry for the lack of warning! ;)

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Scott
6/19/2016 06:27:22 pm

Sorry to hear that bro. Let me know if I can do anything.

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