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A Father's Day Wish

6/19/2016

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A heartfelt "Happy Father's Day" to all of the fathers out there!  Being a father has been one of the hardest, yet most rewarding jobs ever, and I cherish the job, no matter how crazy or incredibly fun it is, on a daily basis.

​​Yesterday, we got a bit of very sobering news, Paul, a former choir and church member, and a father of two, passed away last Wednesday after a battle with depression after committing suicide.
PictureShortly after Jonah was born and becoming a father for the first time.
A little over a decade ago, I, too, suffered from a (not as severe) form of depression, which also nearly cost me my marriage.  After many years of hard work and therapy working on myself, I emerged from the process a person who now had new skills to manage and cope with any future sadness that I would surely encounter.  And, literally one week after I finished up my work, my first child, Jonah, was born, and I became a father, the best day ever!

​I had one mission after going through all of that work, and that was to be vulnerable and tell my story to other men who may be struggling with anything on the emotional scale.  The toughest part of that period of time for me was the feeling of being alone in my struggle, and not feeling like any of my male friends understood what I was going through.

The number of men that commit suicide is staggering.  Many of us were brought up to be tough, strong, support the family, and "suck it up" when things get hard.  It can be incredibly tough sharing our emotions, even with our own spouses, let alone with other men.  I can tell you that by opening up to other men, I have had several guy friends approach me and tell me what's up with them in a way that most guys just don't normally do.

About 4 years ago, as my interest in cycling was heating up, I heard about the incredible story of Mark Meier and his bike ride across the country to raise awareness about depression in men through his non-profit, The FaceIt Foundation.  Soon thereafter, I became friends with both he and Bill Dehkes, who run the non-profit together, and have been a huge supporter of their organization and efforts ever since.  The work they do is real, and life-saving, and incredibly underserved everywhere.  If you want to read an incredible story this Father's Day, read Mark's story.

I now regret that I hadn't spent a few minutes to get to know Paul better.  Could I have prevented what happened?  Perhaps not.  But you never know what can happen by opening up and being vulnerable.  My Father's Day wish today is that all men will take a moment to ask another guy "how are you doing", and not just by punching them on the shoulder, but really asking how they're doing, and let them know you are truly interested in their well-being.

RIP, Paul, you will be missed more than you know.  Peace be with you all, today and always.  Matt
Picture
After completing the MS 150 bike ride last Sunday, with my biggest supporters. :)
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Another Day, Another New Year

8/5/2015

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You may have noticed that it has been awhile since my last blog post.  What a busy summer it has been!  June was all about the MS 150, July was all about our family vacation to Chicago, and I hope to have blog posts detailing them both in the near future.  Suddenly, it is August, kids are gearing up for school, and I'm celebrating a birthday today.

I had a thought this morning in the shower as I was reflecting on another birthday.  Instead of everyone coming up with resolutions on New Year's Day, how about coming coming up with them on your birthday instead?  Perhaps if they were on your birthday, they might mean more to you, and you might actually follow through on them...

One resolution for me going into this next year is to do a much better job of connecting with family and friends, not virtually, but IRL (in real life ;).  Recently, I had an opportunity to connect with someone (I had only known online) when I went to dine at his restaurant on a date with Anne, and it was really cool to finally meet him in person.

It is too easy to feel disconnected in today's world, when in reality we're more "connected" than ever before, whether it is via any of the social media platforms, via texting with thumbs flying, through any of our multitude of connected devices.  I remember (way) back in college (ok, now I'm dating myself!), racking up long distance phone bills calling Anne, or writing letters to stay connected to her.  The other night a fellow cyclist was marveling at how he was able to text his son who is currently in Japan.  No doubt he can't wait to see him again in person, though.

So, look out!!  If I haven't connected with you in awhile, or maybe have never met you in person before, while I may not call you on a rotary phone :), I hope to connect with you in one way, shape or form, to see how you're doing.

Carpe diem!!
Picture
Photo courtesy of Anne's uncle Dan, although he did take it with my camera and lens :)
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The End of an Era

5/22/2015

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Today marks Kate's last day of preschool, and for us as a family, the end of 6 consecutive years of preschool at our church, Augustana Lutheran, starting in 2008 with Jonah.  This fall she will go into Kindergarten and join her big brother at Pinewood Elementary in our new town of Eagan.  It has been an emotional week for us all, but especially for Kate, as she has come to really enjoy her time there with her friends and all of the amazing teachers.  We can't thank them all enough, as well as Kate Quebodeaux, the Director, who have guided our children beautifully over the years and prepared them so well for elementary school!  Jonah is thriving, and we know Kate will follow in his steps.

Congrats to all of the new grads out there, and have a safe and blessed Memorial Day holiday weekend!!
Picture
With Mrs. Teri Collins, who taught both Jonah & Kate
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